By Rita Loyd*
It wasn’t by candle light….
No romantic music…..
All the fantasies of how my first time would be
were erased…..without my consent.
I trusted him…
with my body.
But then I was tricked.
I was made to believe that only his hand would touch me there.
But before I knew it…
My innocence was violated…
My virginity gone.
By a man I would forgive
because I did not place value on what he had stolen.
My choice. My voice. My self worth.
I even consoled his guilt for what he had done.
Three years later I agreed to marry him
after he gave me a diamond engagement ring
to apologize for hitting me. How romantic.
A year after that we divorced.
And a year after that we remarried.
Because I was still lost.
Because I still did not know that I deserved better.
But then one day while suffering ulcer pain
I asked myself the question.
“How did I end up here?”
And it was at this moment I realized
that it was a lack of self worth
that attracted this relationship into my life
and it was a lack of self worth
that made me feel willing to stay.
It became clear.
I had a long road ahead of me….
To reach my destination of self love.
But this was the day
I took my first step.
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*Rita Loyd – Nurturing Art – https://nurturingart.com/
Categories: Releases, Slider Featured
