https://newmoon.com/brain-changes-normal-for-adolescent-girls/

Physical, Mental, Emotional Changes Are Normal for Adolescent Girls

Roxi, 13, England, drew each phase of how she expressed herself with clothes and other favorites through her years. Every “phase” you have is wonderful and unique.

This piece is from the January-February 2016 Issue of New Moon Girls Magazine.

I really related to the character of 11-year-old Riley in the film “Inside Out.” I moved to a new town when I was 10, and after that my life felt much more complicated and hard. I loved how the movie shows how feelings affect our thoughts and actions.

How about you? Have you ever felt that life was tougher and your feelings were all over the place when you had a big change? Anything that happens when you’re a tween or teen can give you those kinds of feelings. Maybe it’s having a new baby in your family, or a new school you go to, or your parents decide to get divorced.

The reason those kinds of things feel tougher and confusing during puberty and adolescence is because our brains go through huge changes in those 10 years. It turns out that the changes in my brain were actually a lot more important to how I felt than my family’s move was.

Really?! Here’s why. Humongous changes in your brain start at puberty because of the much higher level of the hormone estrogen your body has then. While the changes in your body only take two to three years, your brain keeps changing until your early 20s.

Your brain begins to work in new ways. That plus your new experiences, friendships, and learning can change your feelings and your understanding of people and life. These changes are how you grow into an adult who will be able to live on your own and make good decisions.

That’s one of the best things about the changes. There are also hard things you’ll need to adjust to. Knowing how your brain changes will help you understand yourself and what you can do to help yourself and your friends through the hard things.

One especially difficult change is starting to feel like friends, and even people you don’t know, are judging you. Younger girls don’t have that feeling as often. They usually feel confident about themselves and think the world appreciates them for who they are. They know what they want and are able to ask for it. They see things from their own point of view, kind of like they are at the center of everything.

That changes in adolescence because all the different parts of our brain start to connect with all the other parts much more. This is a good thing in the long run! We start to see the world through other people’s perspectives as well as our own. This has good results such as more empathy and more rational thinking when we try to feel and understand what life is like “in another person’s shoes.”

But it can also make girls lose touch with their own sense of who they are for a few years. This happened to me when I was in middle school and everything felt topsy turvy. I got hyper-sensitive to what my peers thought of me. I wanted to never make any mistakes. I felt like the real me wasn’t enough. I lost my view of the world from inside out, from my center, and tried to change myself from the outside in, to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. I stopped saying what I wanted and even stopped knowing what I wanted until I was about 16.

It was painful for me. It’s why I started NMG, so girls have friends and a place for support and to keep knowing and being who they are from the inside out.

Nancy Gruver, Founder New Moon Magazine for Girls

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https://newmoon.com/how-to-handle-adolescent-mood-swings-practice-self-care/

 SELF-CARE TIPS FOR MOTHERS, FOR PARENTS

 As much as we’d like to, we can’t always escape for a weekend away when we want to, so can we make sure we take care of ourselves so we can keep taking care of our kids? Joe Kelly says minor changes in our daily routine make a big difference.

1. Sing in the morning. It’s hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy mood, and it sets a happy tone for everyone—particularly in my case, because I’m tone deaf and my audience finds my singing a source of great hilarity.
2. Get enough sleep. It’s so tempting to stay up late, to enjoy the peace and quiet. But 6:30 a.m. comes fast.
3. Treat yourself. We quickly adapt to new pleasures or luxuries, so it takes a new pleasure to give us a jolt of gratification. Cut back on treats and impulse buys. The ice-cream sandwich won’t be an exciting treat if it isn’t rare.
4. Pick your battles. Say “no” only when it really matters. Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Put water in the toy tea set? Okay. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine.

Finally, try to take time for yourself a little bit each day. Know it’s okay to step away from a stressful situation or argument and take a break – for you and your daughter. Take that break to do something just for yourself. Read a chapter of that novel you haven’t gotten to, start knitting, go outside and take some deep breaths. If time is tight, you can even shut yourself in the bathroom, put on some music, and light a scented candle for 5 minutes. Taking a little “me” time is imperative to your mental well-being; you deserve to make yourself a priority.