Virginity Restoration Surgery – Social Pressures +

https://wunrn.wpengine.com

https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8641099.stm

VIRGINITY RESTORATION SURGERY –
CERTIFICATES – SOCIAL PRESSURES

By
Najlaa Abou Mehri and Linda Sills – BBC

24
April 2010

Young Arab women wait in an upmarket medical clinic for an
operation that will not only change their lives, but quite possibly save it.
Yet the operation is a matter of choice and not necessity. It costs about 2,000
euros (£1,700) and carries very little risk.

The clinic is not in Dubai or Cairo, but in Paris. And the surgery they are
waiting for is to restore their virginity.

Whether in Asia or the Arab world, an unknown number of women face an
agonising problem having broken a deep taboo. They’ve had sex outside marriage
and if found out, risk being ostracised by their communities, or even murdered.

Now more and more of them are undergoing surgery to re-connect their hymens
and hide any sign of past sexual activity. They want to ensure that blood is
spilled on their wedding night sheets.

The social pressure is so great that some women have even taken their own
lives.

Sonia wants to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal. She is a slender young
brunette studying at art college in Paris.

Although born in France, Arab culture and traditions are central to Sonia’s
life. Life was strict growing up under the watchful eyes of a large traditional
Arab family.

Virginity certificates

“I thought of suicide after my first sexual relationship,” she
says, “because I couldn’t see any other solution.” But Sonia did find
a solution.

She eventually went to the Paris clinic of Dr Marc Abecassis to have surgery
to restore her hymen. She says she will never reveal her secret to anyone,
especially her husband to be.

“ I
believe we as doctors have no right to decide for her or judge her ”
Dr Abecassis

“I consider this is my sex life and I don’t have to tell anyone about
it,” she says. It’s men that are obliging her to lie about it, she says.

Dr Abecassis performs a “hymenoplasty” as it’s called, at least
two to three times a week. Re-connecting the tissue of the hymen takes about 30
minutes under local anaesthetic.

He says the average age of the patient is about 25, and they come from all
social backgrounds. Although the surgery is performed in clinics around the
world, Dr Abecassis is one of the few Arab surgeons who talks openly about it.
Some of the women come to him because they need virginity certificates in order
to marry.

“She can be in danger because sometimes it’s a matter of traditions and
family,” says Dr Abecassis. “I believe we as doctors have no right to
decide for her or judge her.”

With Chinese manufacturers leading the way, there are now non-surgical
options on the market as well. One website sells artificial hymens for just £20
(23 euros). The Chinese hymen is made of elastic and filled with fake blood.
Once inserted in the vagina, the woman can simulate virginity, the company
claims.

‘Caught out’

But this was not an option for Nada. As a young girl growing up in the
Lebanese countryside she fell in love and lost her virginity. “I was
scared my family would find out especially since they didn’t approve of my
relationship,” she says. “I was terrified they might kill me.”

After seven years in the relationship, her lover’s family wanted him to
marry someone else. Nada attempted suicide. “I got a bottle of Panadol and
a bottle of household chemicals,” she says. “I drank them and said,
‘That’s it’.”

“ Even
if society accepts such a thing, I would still refuse to marry her ”
Noor

Nada is now 40, and found out about surgical hymen restoration just six
years ago. She married and had two children. Her wedding night was a stressful
ordeal. “I didn’t sleep that night. I was crying,” she says. “I
was very scared but he didn’t suspect anything.”

It’s a secret that Nada – which is not her real name – will carry to her
grave. “I am ready to hide it until death,” she says. “Only God
will know about it.”

But it’s not only the older generation that subscribes to traditional views
about sex before marriage, when it comes to choosing a wife.

Noor is a trendy professional who works in Damascus. He’s fairly
representative of young Syrian men in a secular society. But although Noor says
he believes in equality for women, underneath the liberal facade lies a
deep-rooted conservatism.

“I know girls who went through this restoration and they were caught
out on their wedding night by their husbands,” he says. “They
realised they weren’t virgins. Even if society accepts such a thing, I would
still refuse to marry her.”

Muslim clerics are quick to point out that the virginity issue is not about
religion. “We should remember that when people wait for the virgin’s blood
to be spilled on the sheet, these are all cultural traditions,” says
Syrian cleric, Sheikh Mohamad Habash. “This is not related to Shariah
law.”

Christian communities in the Middle East are often just as firm in their
belief that women should be virgins when they marry.

Arab writer and social commentator, Sana Al Khayat believes the whole issue
has much to with the notion of “control”.

“If she’s a virgin, she doesn’t have any way of comparing [her husband
to other men]. If she’s been with other men, then she has experience. Having
experience makes women stronger.”

It may be the 21st Century but the issue of virginity in Arab culture can
still be a matter of life and death, especially for women like Sonia and Nada.

And while hymen repair may be a quick fix, it can’t reconcile centuries of
ingrained tradition with the attitudes of modern society.